Rodney Asks for Help
by nymaeria
Summary: After his brush with ascension, Rodney needs some help understanding his own work.  Spoilers for Tao of Rodney.


**Author's Note: This little ficlet has absolutely no plot whatsoever. It popped into my head after watching the Tao of Rodney. I find McKay's ego funny (and someone taking it down a notch even funnier), and it occurred to me that after he returned to "normal" he may have a little trouble interpreting his own notes. **

**Spoilers for Tao of Rodney**

**Disclaimer: Alas, I do not own Stargate and no money has changed hands in the writing of this story. It's written only for enjoyment.**

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><p>"Well, you know I've had quite a busy week. I mean for one thing, we updated the Daedelus's shields. Power increases of over 23 percent! That's significantly higher than you were able to manage by just replacing the power conduits around the reactor with super conductive naquada, a coil which I invented anyway, thank you very much! And that's much better than the Asgaard had..."<p>

"Rodney!" Sam shouted to be heard over Rodney's frantic tirade. She gave him an exasperated look. "Why exactly did you call, again?" Sam crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him expectantly.

"Well, uh, you know, Sam, I just wanted to check in with you... see how things were going at the SGC."

"So, this is a social call?" Sam's voice was layered with skepticism.

"What? I make social calls!" protested Rodney. "Don't I?" he said more quietly to himself, his head twitching with nervous energy. "With me being, you know, all the way in the Pegasus galaxy..."

Sam's left eyebrow quirked upward. "We do have the bridge, now, Rodney... you're not that far away."

"Yes, well... regardless... I figured with me here, and only you there, maybe there would be some problems piling up with that you might want some... assistance with."

At that, Sam's eyebrows rose to their maximum possible height. "Really."

"Um, well.. sure!"

"Uh hunh." Sam just stared Rodney down. "Yes, well, since you put it that way, I'm just not sure how we've managed here without you, Rodney." Sam said overly sweetly, her voice layered with sarcasm.

"Yes, well, I suppose I might also possibly, theoretically, in some manner of speaking might also have called to, I don't know, say, ask for some of your help."

Sam's eyes widened in surprise. After a moment, a smug grin spread across her face. "Oh, really? Did you now? You say you're calling for _my_ help? L'il ol' me, Rodney? Are you sure?"

"Yes, well..." he huffed and shrugged his shoulders. "Stranger things have happened."

"Yeah, you can say that again." After a moment, Sam's mocking demeanor faded and she looked at him with a serious expression. "What do you need help with Rodney?"

"Well, while I was almost-Ascended I may have written out a few new laws of math..."

"Let me get this straight," Sam said, struggling to keep a straight face, "You need help understanding your *own* work?"

"Well... perhaps. But just a little! I mean I have a rough idea about how it connects via differential matrices, but well, there might be *one* or two parts that could, well, use a smidge of clarification..."

Sam looked at Rodney and released a heavy sigh. "Whatever. Send it through, I'll see what I can do."

"Great! I'll send it the files through now. After you've had a few minutes to look them over and get up to speed... or maybe a couple hours? or days? I suppose you'll take longer to get up to speed than I would... but anyway, this is really amazing, brilliant stuff, so we should get this worked out as soon as possible."

Sam paused for a moment, trying to decide what to say. There were so many obnoxious things about Rodney's last statement that she didn't know where to start. Maybe it was best to just let that one go. With a sigh, Sam snapped the connection closed, dropped her head into her hands and rubbed at her temples; she could feel a migraine coming on. After a moment, she pushed back from her desk and headed toward the mess hall. She was suddenly thirsty for lemonade.


End file.
